Welcome...to my world.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Was it worth it?

Lying awake on the cold hard floor,
I sigh and wonder
with tears down my face
if all this pain...
was worth it?

I loved you
and I still do

For time and again,
I tried and tried
to change,
to cope,
to be for your liking,
but all this pain I feel now...
was it worth it?

And now, I try
I try to save us both,
I try to do so as a person with two persons part,
but all this misery that comes with it...
was it worth it?

I do not know of the answer now...
nor will I in the near future
or when I look in the past...
but really,
one as special as you deserves the best
and I fear I am not good enough...

As such,
I will shoulder and bear this pain,
this misery,
this despair,
this retarded hope I have for both of us,
and pray.

I will pray
for your happiness,
for your joy,
for that crazy void in your heart to be filled
by someone who can hopefully do so
as that person is not me
as much as I wish it to be...

But still
in the end
the question remains...
was it worth it;
all this pain, misery, despair?

I cannot really say...
but if my pain, misery, despair
equals to your happiness, joy, fulfillment...
then... perhaps...
it is all worth it.

Poem (c) Amelia, August 11, 2008

...I find it funny how I come up with poetry sometimes... huh...



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